Post by complex on Jul 24, 2020 15:25:24 GMT
Twos are about love and other people and especially pride. Specifically twos are kind and gentle feeling types who take pride in being considerate of others to feel worthy of being loved themselves. They take pride in seeing people as people. They like people and want to feel closer to them. They take pride in recognizing the importance of others...the "I"..."you"...and "me". They are receptive and responsive. They have strong empathetic feelings and take pride in being sensitive and compassionate towards others. They are attuned to what others might need. This can include people they hardly know or even in an abstract capacity.
Simply being caring and compassionate isn't enough though. Twos are natural givers and handpick themselves as the person to fulfill what others need. They feel drawn to be in a facilitating role where they feel they can make a difference in people's lives. They take pride in considering all people important especially the disadvantaged and the neglected. No one is left behind. They take pride in being willing to get involved in roles that require getting in the trenches. They are drawn to being mentors and facilitators and volunteer roles in general. A two whom no one notices does the thankless job of stocking shelves in the back. Another two dutifully answers your questions and does whatever you ask. Another two greets you warmly at the door and offers to show you around the place. Another two organized all the twos together for the volunteer effort. While each of these twos are different fulfilling other people's needs gives all of them a sense of pride.
Twos take pride in being strong enough to take care of themselves and not need help in addition to being strong enough to assist others who do need help. Twos are image types and maintaining a sense of dignity is central to the considerate of others persona they've cultivated. They don't need to "collect" for the good they have done for others. They take pride in not being a burden on others and don't like admitting they have problems to fix and needs to be met. They prefer to deal with their issues themselves as people depend on them not the other way around. It is others that need help and not the two.
This twoish blindspot of others needing them more than vice versa is caused by their pride. They don't see themselves well due to their other-directed self-image orientation. They can be uncannily skilled at reading other people's emotional states and responding accordingly but often don't recognize their own needs and underlying motives. While they take pride in their loved ones' being better off due to them they need to be the main person in their lives. They need to feel essential to them in some capacity and have a knack for accomplishing that. If they have acted on good intentions they have earned the right to be loved and appreciated. If they go out of their way for others and get overlooked then they hurt a great deal. Even answering "no" is way better than not acknowledging their offer. They try to cover up the pain with their pride in being a good person and that it's others' fault for not recognizing that.
In enneagram theory twos are feeling-gut-thinking in that order and pride themselves in being considerate of others. They go with their feelings at the expense of looking at the cold hard realities of others and seeing themselves clearly. Their biggest fear is being unworthy of love and no longer being essential to others they care about. Being superego compliant types they justify being and existing in general by their willingness to go out of their way for others and supress their ugly and aggressive tendencies. They are tougher than the kind and gentle persona they project and being image types their self-image must be protected at all costs. They take pride in their own humility by being self-effacing. They note others who are more worthy. They also downplay themselves relative to others and say the kindness they displayed was nothing major. They always seem to remember the special occasions about others especially birthdays and anniversaries. Every good deed is an opportunity to score points with themselves over how unselfish they are. They try so hard to be unselfish that they ironically become selfish in the process.
Living up to their "good" self-image also makes twos surprisingly perfectionistic about meeting their own standards and expectations. It's really more about meeting their demands than the demands of others. They willingly put themselves in positions where they enjoy being accountable to the bar they set for themselves. Typical type two streams of consciousness are "Does it make me a bad person if I don't trust him?"..."What will I think of myself if I don't live up to this? I have to do this!" Their shame at not meeting their own expectations is a source of drive. Being image types the deeds they do equals who they are and being superego compliant they have the hardest time forgiving themselves. They have a lot of pride in being considerate so anything to the contrary is very difficult to swallow.
Like all image types twos cultivate a persona and confuse that with their true self. The more unhealthy a two is the greater the disconnect and the greater their pride based on their false persona. They have more pride in being self-effacing...kind...and gentle than actually being those qualities. This causes them to overestimate how considerate of others they are and how much people should feel grateful for them. They give to get to reaffirm their selfless identity even to the point of misprojecting other's needs. They then guilt-trip..."after all I've done for you". Tell them they have ulterior motives like "You just want to do this for me to claim credit for being a good person don't you" and heaven help you. Manipulating and intrusive tendencies emerge that are at odds with their angelic self-image. Beneath their velvet glove is an iron hand with a steely resolve. They like others having strings attached to them as it gives them a veiled form of control. The more unhealthy they are the more strings attached they want so that others can't easily sever their connections to them. It's all about keeping the strings attached even by becoming victims themselves if necessary. Healthy twos in contrast have learned to use their thinking center to see their pride for what it is. They've learned to seperate their character from their self-image. If they make a mistake that goes against their self-image of being a good person they can release themselves from their guilt and forgive themselves. They've learned to be comfortable with being selfish when it's called for. They become helpful and supportive without needing that to score points with themselves.
2w1s are more about "being called to serve". They're the twos more likely to be drawn to community service jobs and religious vocations. They are more likely to serve others purely out of principle. They take pride in being willing to assist others at the expense of themselves. They are proud to make sacrifices and accept the thankless jobs others don't want. They look to give up their time to benefit people more than work with people directly. They are willing to toil anonymously in unglamourous roles behind the scenes. They are willing to get their hands dirty with nothing to show for it. They take pride in not thinking highly of themselves for their good deeds when they know they could. Seeing others better off is its own reward. That is what it truly means to serve people.
2w1s tend to be more introverted and less saccharine. Due to their one wing they are both more idealistic and harder on themselves. They are also grittier and have more of a self-righteous streak. While they are more restrained and appropriate they are also more fiercely independent. They are more self-referential and less concerned with others expectations. They have a more internal system of scoring "virtue" points with themselves.
2w1s pride themselves in being down-to-earth and in not needing attention. They take pride that they are often overlooked and don't get the recognition they deserve. They take pride in being able to consider others who are more deserving more worthy than themselves. They have an ego in not internally exalting themselves for what they do. While they are proud to assist others without fanfare they still resent not being given their due. They are prone to falling in love with their own tragedy of never getting the credit that they deserve. When unhealthy they have a more veiled nature of controlling people compared to their more effusive and domineering three-winged siblings.
2w3s are more about "seeking to help and inspire". They value openmindedness and view being judgemental as counterproductive. They have more of an obvious need to be needed and are naturals at being the center of attention. They are more likely to host and organize things that others are interested in. They're the twos more likely to be involved with more open and cooperative facilitating efforts like charities and non-profit organizations. They take pride in being able to offer assistance where others want help. They are as much about the relationships as the help efforts.
Unlike their one-winged siblings 2w3s are anything but invisible. They tend to be warmer and more charming. They are more connective and upbeat. The more extroverted ones tend to be cloying and tacky. Either way they are characters that have no problem standing out. Due to their three wing they are both more results-oriented and naturally confident. They are more ambitious and competitive. They are also smoother and more pragmatic as well as more expansive and effusive. They are less self-referential and more likely to see interdependence as acceptable...even desireable. Although they set their own expectations they are concerned with what others think of them enough to let that dictate their actions. They have a more external interpersonally-based system of scoring "goodness" points with themselves.
2w3s pride themselves in being "just what the doctor ordered" for that person or situation. They take pride in being naturals at helping others. They hold themselves in high-esteem. They have a more variable self-image and are more adaptable. They have more of an ego in being an altruistic VIP. If they go out of their way for someone and don't get appreciated they can become manipulative and bossy. When unhealthy their style of controlling others tends to be more domineering and smothering compared to their more restrained one-wing siblings.
2 vs 1: Ones are much harder on themselves than twos. Twos can think highly of themselves merely by seeing themselves as considerate of others. Even when twos are self-critical...they have more of a pride in being self-critical. Twos being image-center first won't hesitate to have outbursts of emotion, which seems like a lack of self-control to the one.
2 vs 3: Twos being compliants feel they have to do something in contrast to threes who want to do something. Twos despite being other-directed are really creating and meeting their own expectations.
2 vs 4: Fours are elitist and are very comfortable with that. Fours don't like it when twos trivialize the complexity of their problems when a two says problems can be helped. Fours go out of their way to show they are not gentle while twos suppress that.
2 vs 5: Twos like people while fives range from apathy to being misanthropic. Twos feel a need to be in a facilitating role for others while a five is very comfortable withdrawing from people.
2 vs 6: Twos tend to be much more certain and sure of themselves than sixes. Twos are the iron hand beneath the velvet glove and are more formidable than they appear. Twos have pride that it is always others that need their help and never the two.
2 vs 7: Twos are drawn to putting themselves in positions of assisting others where they have to live up to their own expectations. Sevens don't like to put themselves in positions that would curtail their freedom.
2 vs 8: Twos suppress the sides of themselves that aren't gentle while eights wear their badassery on their sleeves.
2 vs 9: Twos unlike nines have controlling tendencies. Twos also have much stronger egos and are more formidable.
(Source)
Simply being caring and compassionate isn't enough though. Twos are natural givers and handpick themselves as the person to fulfill what others need. They feel drawn to be in a facilitating role where they feel they can make a difference in people's lives. They take pride in considering all people important especially the disadvantaged and the neglected. No one is left behind. They take pride in being willing to get involved in roles that require getting in the trenches. They are drawn to being mentors and facilitators and volunteer roles in general. A two whom no one notices does the thankless job of stocking shelves in the back. Another two dutifully answers your questions and does whatever you ask. Another two greets you warmly at the door and offers to show you around the place. Another two organized all the twos together for the volunteer effort. While each of these twos are different fulfilling other people's needs gives all of them a sense of pride.
Twos take pride in being strong enough to take care of themselves and not need help in addition to being strong enough to assist others who do need help. Twos are image types and maintaining a sense of dignity is central to the considerate of others persona they've cultivated. They don't need to "collect" for the good they have done for others. They take pride in not being a burden on others and don't like admitting they have problems to fix and needs to be met. They prefer to deal with their issues themselves as people depend on them not the other way around. It is others that need help and not the two.
This twoish blindspot of others needing them more than vice versa is caused by their pride. They don't see themselves well due to their other-directed self-image orientation. They can be uncannily skilled at reading other people's emotional states and responding accordingly but often don't recognize their own needs and underlying motives. While they take pride in their loved ones' being better off due to them they need to be the main person in their lives. They need to feel essential to them in some capacity and have a knack for accomplishing that. If they have acted on good intentions they have earned the right to be loved and appreciated. If they go out of their way for others and get overlooked then they hurt a great deal. Even answering "no" is way better than not acknowledging their offer. They try to cover up the pain with their pride in being a good person and that it's others' fault for not recognizing that.
In enneagram theory twos are feeling-gut-thinking in that order and pride themselves in being considerate of others. They go with their feelings at the expense of looking at the cold hard realities of others and seeing themselves clearly. Their biggest fear is being unworthy of love and no longer being essential to others they care about. Being superego compliant types they justify being and existing in general by their willingness to go out of their way for others and supress their ugly and aggressive tendencies. They are tougher than the kind and gentle persona they project and being image types their self-image must be protected at all costs. They take pride in their own humility by being self-effacing. They note others who are more worthy. They also downplay themselves relative to others and say the kindness they displayed was nothing major. They always seem to remember the special occasions about others especially birthdays and anniversaries. Every good deed is an opportunity to score points with themselves over how unselfish they are. They try so hard to be unselfish that they ironically become selfish in the process.
Living up to their "good" self-image also makes twos surprisingly perfectionistic about meeting their own standards and expectations. It's really more about meeting their demands than the demands of others. They willingly put themselves in positions where they enjoy being accountable to the bar they set for themselves. Typical type two streams of consciousness are "Does it make me a bad person if I don't trust him?"..."What will I think of myself if I don't live up to this? I have to do this!" Their shame at not meeting their own expectations is a source of drive. Being image types the deeds they do equals who they are and being superego compliant they have the hardest time forgiving themselves. They have a lot of pride in being considerate so anything to the contrary is very difficult to swallow.
Like all image types twos cultivate a persona and confuse that with their true self. The more unhealthy a two is the greater the disconnect and the greater their pride based on their false persona. They have more pride in being self-effacing...kind...and gentle than actually being those qualities. This causes them to overestimate how considerate of others they are and how much people should feel grateful for them. They give to get to reaffirm their selfless identity even to the point of misprojecting other's needs. They then guilt-trip..."after all I've done for you". Tell them they have ulterior motives like "You just want to do this for me to claim credit for being a good person don't you" and heaven help you. Manipulating and intrusive tendencies emerge that are at odds with their angelic self-image. Beneath their velvet glove is an iron hand with a steely resolve. They like others having strings attached to them as it gives them a veiled form of control. The more unhealthy they are the more strings attached they want so that others can't easily sever their connections to them. It's all about keeping the strings attached even by becoming victims themselves if necessary. Healthy twos in contrast have learned to use their thinking center to see their pride for what it is. They've learned to seperate their character from their self-image. If they make a mistake that goes against their self-image of being a good person they can release themselves from their guilt and forgive themselves. They've learned to be comfortable with being selfish when it's called for. They become helpful and supportive without needing that to score points with themselves.
2w1s are more about "being called to serve". They're the twos more likely to be drawn to community service jobs and religious vocations. They are more likely to serve others purely out of principle. They take pride in being willing to assist others at the expense of themselves. They are proud to make sacrifices and accept the thankless jobs others don't want. They look to give up their time to benefit people more than work with people directly. They are willing to toil anonymously in unglamourous roles behind the scenes. They are willing to get their hands dirty with nothing to show for it. They take pride in not thinking highly of themselves for their good deeds when they know they could. Seeing others better off is its own reward. That is what it truly means to serve people.
2w1s tend to be more introverted and less saccharine. Due to their one wing they are both more idealistic and harder on themselves. They are also grittier and have more of a self-righteous streak. While they are more restrained and appropriate they are also more fiercely independent. They are more self-referential and less concerned with others expectations. They have a more internal system of scoring "virtue" points with themselves.
2w1s pride themselves in being down-to-earth and in not needing attention. They take pride that they are often overlooked and don't get the recognition they deserve. They take pride in being able to consider others who are more deserving more worthy than themselves. They have an ego in not internally exalting themselves for what they do. While they are proud to assist others without fanfare they still resent not being given their due. They are prone to falling in love with their own tragedy of never getting the credit that they deserve. When unhealthy they have a more veiled nature of controlling people compared to their more effusive and domineering three-winged siblings.
2w3s are more about "seeking to help and inspire". They value openmindedness and view being judgemental as counterproductive. They have more of an obvious need to be needed and are naturals at being the center of attention. They are more likely to host and organize things that others are interested in. They're the twos more likely to be involved with more open and cooperative facilitating efforts like charities and non-profit organizations. They take pride in being able to offer assistance where others want help. They are as much about the relationships as the help efforts.
Unlike their one-winged siblings 2w3s are anything but invisible. They tend to be warmer and more charming. They are more connective and upbeat. The more extroverted ones tend to be cloying and tacky. Either way they are characters that have no problem standing out. Due to their three wing they are both more results-oriented and naturally confident. They are more ambitious and competitive. They are also smoother and more pragmatic as well as more expansive and effusive. They are less self-referential and more likely to see interdependence as acceptable...even desireable. Although they set their own expectations they are concerned with what others think of them enough to let that dictate their actions. They have a more external interpersonally-based system of scoring "goodness" points with themselves.
2w3s pride themselves in being "just what the doctor ordered" for that person or situation. They take pride in being naturals at helping others. They hold themselves in high-esteem. They have a more variable self-image and are more adaptable. They have more of an ego in being an altruistic VIP. If they go out of their way for someone and don't get appreciated they can become manipulative and bossy. When unhealthy their style of controlling others tends to be more domineering and smothering compared to their more restrained one-wing siblings.
2 vs 1: Ones are much harder on themselves than twos. Twos can think highly of themselves merely by seeing themselves as considerate of others. Even when twos are self-critical...they have more of a pride in being self-critical. Twos being image-center first won't hesitate to have outbursts of emotion, which seems like a lack of self-control to the one.
2 vs 3: Twos being compliants feel they have to do something in contrast to threes who want to do something. Twos despite being other-directed are really creating and meeting their own expectations.
2 vs 4: Fours are elitist and are very comfortable with that. Fours don't like it when twos trivialize the complexity of their problems when a two says problems can be helped. Fours go out of their way to show they are not gentle while twos suppress that.
2 vs 5: Twos like people while fives range from apathy to being misanthropic. Twos feel a need to be in a facilitating role for others while a five is very comfortable withdrawing from people.
2 vs 6: Twos tend to be much more certain and sure of themselves than sixes. Twos are the iron hand beneath the velvet glove and are more formidable than they appear. Twos have pride that it is always others that need their help and never the two.
2 vs 7: Twos are drawn to putting themselves in positions of assisting others where they have to live up to their own expectations. Sevens don't like to put themselves in positions that would curtail their freedom.
2 vs 8: Twos suppress the sides of themselves that aren't gentle while eights wear their badassery on their sleeves.
2 vs 9: Twos unlike nines have controlling tendencies. Twos also have much stronger egos and are more formidable.
(Source)