Post by complex on Jul 24, 2020 15:29:42 GMT
Threes are identity-seeking image types who believe they have the potential to become someone outstanding. Just as cream rises to the top so do they see it is their destiny to reach their potential. They want, even need, to become "winners in life" in the broader sense of the term, ie a positive version of anything but a "loser", to prove they have value and are valuable relative to others. A three is acutely aware of their self-development and evolution as a person, "who they are" as a work in progress. They have a deep-seated awe of themselves, of their journey, as well as their destination. They visualize "fulfilling the story of them" and "finally making it". They are resilient and bounce back from setbacks by detaching from their emotions and having a positive attitude. If they face failure or rejection they visualize how their journey must continue and pull themselves together to get back on track. They won't let circumstances get the best of them. They need to be moving forward otherwise they feel like they are falling behind.
There is no type that is more aware of how they come across to others. They can seem confident and self-assured on the outside yet have surprisingly fragile self-esteem on the inside. "Everyone loves a winner and no one loves a loser" resonates with all types but particularly with type three. They need to feel they are "winners in life" to feel they have sufficient self-worth to silence their internal voice of doubt. This causes a whole host of problems: focusing on becoming who they want to be instead of being who they are, and confusing being who they are with doing what they do. They fear others being able to see through them enough to discover they are not quite who they appear to be. This brings about deeper fears of possibly being meaningless and worthless, and feeling they could be a loser beneath it all.
On a more subconscious level threes are aware of the inconsistencies in their self-presentation that are caused by their efforts to find the right angle with others. They can be either very boring or very fun for example. They may feel others are on the verge of seeing that they are not quite who they appear to be. Without fully realizing it they hint to others that they are "not just anyone". They excessively let slip clues like went to a good school, has a great sense of style, was good at soccer as a kid, has a great career, how good they are at their hobby, etc. They subtly remind others of the interesting person they are or the ideal person they are in the process of becoming. On a more conscious level they may even be excessively forthright about certain weaknesses to look more professional or to be seen as more humble, perhaps overcorrecting what feels "off" in themselves. Their body language reflects a very subtle eagerness for one to mirror back to them how they are doing in real time to give them a sense of direction. There's a lot on the line so they try their best to hit the right notes with people.
This combined with confusing who they are with what they do can cause more superficial threes to confuse style with substance. They may have a checklist approach to self-definition and equate themselves with their resume. Not surprisingly it may be hard for others to get close to the real them. In extreme cases the disconnect between who they are and what they project can become so large that once the three achieves everything they feel like a sham and their lives take a drastic turn to reflect that.
Most threes aren't like that however. On the upside threes are very good at holding themselves accountable and aren't averse to putting in the hard work needed to become the person they have in mind. In addition to being ambitious they tend to be more responsible and more adaptive than the average person. While the more extroverted 3s are good networkers and salespeople, many 3s are content to live their lives in private trying to become the best "them" they can be.
In enneagram theory 3s are image center primary which is said to be disassociated from their thinking and instinctive centers. Much of the three fixation can be traced to excessive consciousness in their image or valuing center. That is precisely why threes are both the most aware of how they come across to others and most aware of their value in the eyes of themselves and others. 3s being part of the 3-6-9 group have a very fundamental desire to find their place among people and the world. Their awareness of how they come across to others makes them do that by becoming the best or most they can be. When healthy they are able to get in touch with their real selves as they realize they don't have to trade in who they are to become the person they want to be. Healthy 3s are excellent at inspiring others how to reach their potential just as they have done.
The 3w2 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w2 inclusive, accessible to everyone and more mainstream. They are on average more sociable and are more about putting their best them forward. They want to shine. The more extroverted 3w2s have a beaming brightness to them. As one poster put it:
"It is far more about end product than process for me. I don’t really need to appear to have taking no effort whatsoever, though I hardly wish to lay out my every faltering baby step in my process for review. What is more important is what you are, how you present, how you impress. It is about commanding that stage, turning in a scintillating performance, dazzling them all so you are the one that gets remembered. And sure it takes work to get there, to be that person. But that’s just part of it all. That happens, but it is nothing to dwell on, because of course you have to work hard, that’s just part of the game, nothing remarkable there, let’s just look at what we’ve become."
The 3w4 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w4 exclusive, more unique and original, just out of reach and admired from a distance. 3w4s are more aloof, more melanchonlic and icy cool. They tend to romanticize the hard work needed to get to top when no one was looking: "the dignity that is in work"(Obama). They are about putting their best foot forward in a more professional dignified manner. As one poster put it:
"The 3w4 romanticising of “hard work” is really the keen awareness of the image/reality dichotomy – it’s about “everything you don’t see” – the work it takes to “appear as though there is no effort involved” – it’s about knowing “what it takes”; that sense of bittersweetness every time someone gives you a compliment. It’s the secret you keep of everything you’re not – of how you’ve had to become, but that no one else will ever know. It’s the steely, gracious and enigmatic smile as you walk on stage, thinking about “what it’s taken to get here”. That’s the 3w4 romanticism of hard work. That sense of being born with leaden feet, but having overcome it with nothing but willpower and desire, to take to flight as though always born with great and golden wings."
3 vs 1: Threes are much more natural at promoting themselves. No type finds it as difficult to toot their own horn as a one.
3 vs 2: Twos are compliant types that feel they have to do things. Twos also find it very difficult to forgive themselves.
3 vs 4: Threes focus more on self-development while fours focus more on self-expression. Fours must live out their emotional states.
3 vs 5: Threes are much more comfortable promoting themselves. Fives find it awkward to sell themselves in any capacity.
3 vs 6: Unlike sixes, threes need to become someone outstanding.
3 vs 7: Threes focus much better than sevens and aren't as naturally spontaneous as sevens.
3 vs 8: Unlike threes, eights are anything but apologetic and are comfortable with people not liking them. Eights see themselves as animalistic while threes don't.
3 vs 9: Threes need to become someone outstanding. They are prone to overestimating their abilities where they have their ego invested whereas nines tend to underestimate their abilities.
(Source)
There is no type that is more aware of how they come across to others. They can seem confident and self-assured on the outside yet have surprisingly fragile self-esteem on the inside. "Everyone loves a winner and no one loves a loser" resonates with all types but particularly with type three. They need to feel they are "winners in life" to feel they have sufficient self-worth to silence their internal voice of doubt. This causes a whole host of problems: focusing on becoming who they want to be instead of being who they are, and confusing being who they are with doing what they do. They fear others being able to see through them enough to discover they are not quite who they appear to be. This brings about deeper fears of possibly being meaningless and worthless, and feeling they could be a loser beneath it all.
On a more subconscious level threes are aware of the inconsistencies in their self-presentation that are caused by their efforts to find the right angle with others. They can be either very boring or very fun for example. They may feel others are on the verge of seeing that they are not quite who they appear to be. Without fully realizing it they hint to others that they are "not just anyone". They excessively let slip clues like went to a good school, has a great sense of style, was good at soccer as a kid, has a great career, how good they are at their hobby, etc. They subtly remind others of the interesting person they are or the ideal person they are in the process of becoming. On a more conscious level they may even be excessively forthright about certain weaknesses to look more professional or to be seen as more humble, perhaps overcorrecting what feels "off" in themselves. Their body language reflects a very subtle eagerness for one to mirror back to them how they are doing in real time to give them a sense of direction. There's a lot on the line so they try their best to hit the right notes with people.
This combined with confusing who they are with what they do can cause more superficial threes to confuse style with substance. They may have a checklist approach to self-definition and equate themselves with their resume. Not surprisingly it may be hard for others to get close to the real them. In extreme cases the disconnect between who they are and what they project can become so large that once the three achieves everything they feel like a sham and their lives take a drastic turn to reflect that.
Most threes aren't like that however. On the upside threes are very good at holding themselves accountable and aren't averse to putting in the hard work needed to become the person they have in mind. In addition to being ambitious they tend to be more responsible and more adaptive than the average person. While the more extroverted 3s are good networkers and salespeople, many 3s are content to live their lives in private trying to become the best "them" they can be.
In enneagram theory 3s are image center primary which is said to be disassociated from their thinking and instinctive centers. Much of the three fixation can be traced to excessive consciousness in their image or valuing center. That is precisely why threes are both the most aware of how they come across to others and most aware of their value in the eyes of themselves and others. 3s being part of the 3-6-9 group have a very fundamental desire to find their place among people and the world. Their awareness of how they come across to others makes them do that by becoming the best or most they can be. When healthy they are able to get in touch with their real selves as they realize they don't have to trade in who they are to become the person they want to be. Healthy 3s are excellent at inspiring others how to reach their potential just as they have done.
The 3w2 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w2 inclusive, accessible to everyone and more mainstream. They are on average more sociable and are more about putting their best them forward. They want to shine. The more extroverted 3w2s have a beaming brightness to them. As one poster put it:
"It is far more about end product than process for me. I don’t really need to appear to have taking no effort whatsoever, though I hardly wish to lay out my every faltering baby step in my process for review. What is more important is what you are, how you present, how you impress. It is about commanding that stage, turning in a scintillating performance, dazzling them all so you are the one that gets remembered. And sure it takes work to get there, to be that person. But that’s just part of it all. That happens, but it is nothing to dwell on, because of course you have to work hard, that’s just part of the game, nothing remarkable there, let’s just look at what we’ve become."
The 3w4 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w4 exclusive, more unique and original, just out of reach and admired from a distance. 3w4s are more aloof, more melanchonlic and icy cool. They tend to romanticize the hard work needed to get to top when no one was looking: "the dignity that is in work"(Obama). They are about putting their best foot forward in a more professional dignified manner. As one poster put it:
"The 3w4 romanticising of “hard work” is really the keen awareness of the image/reality dichotomy – it’s about “everything you don’t see” – the work it takes to “appear as though there is no effort involved” – it’s about knowing “what it takes”; that sense of bittersweetness every time someone gives you a compliment. It’s the secret you keep of everything you’re not – of how you’ve had to become, but that no one else will ever know. It’s the steely, gracious and enigmatic smile as you walk on stage, thinking about “what it’s taken to get here”. That’s the 3w4 romanticism of hard work. That sense of being born with leaden feet, but having overcome it with nothing but willpower and desire, to take to flight as though always born with great and golden wings."
3 vs 1: Threes are much more natural at promoting themselves. No type finds it as difficult to toot their own horn as a one.
3 vs 2: Twos are compliant types that feel they have to do things. Twos also find it very difficult to forgive themselves.
3 vs 4: Threes focus more on self-development while fours focus more on self-expression. Fours must live out their emotional states.
3 vs 5: Threes are much more comfortable promoting themselves. Fives find it awkward to sell themselves in any capacity.
3 vs 6: Unlike sixes, threes need to become someone outstanding.
3 vs 7: Threes focus much better than sevens and aren't as naturally spontaneous as sevens.
3 vs 8: Unlike threes, eights are anything but apologetic and are comfortable with people not liking them. Eights see themselves as animalistic while threes don't.
3 vs 9: Threes need to become someone outstanding. They are prone to overestimating their abilities where they have their ego invested whereas nines tend to underestimate their abilities.
(Source)